Consolation for a Broken Family

"I had to kiss them goodbye. I had never been away from them more than two nights. And now I would have to leave them for five days. Not once, but over and over again.

‘Mommy, I want to stay with you!” 

My 3-year old daughter was wrapping her arms around my neck. My 6-year old daughter already took her father’s hand, ready to walk away, like she was heading towards a new adventure. She didn’t know what was waiting for her. A broken family. Swapping homes for the rest of her childhood. Missing mom, or missing dad.  

There’s a time for letting go. You can’t hold on to your children forever. Having to let them go at 3 and 6 years old is just cruel. 

As I was dying inside, I looked up towards the stars, as if they could give me the power to survive this agonizing moment. My eyes rested on the Full Moon. 

I took a deep breath, and as I went down on my knees and whispered to my sweet little loves with as much courage as I could gather: 

“Do you see Her, the Moon? Did you know She’s always there, always have been, and always will be? Remember that when you miss me, you can always search for the Moon. Wherever you are, and wherever I am, I promise you that when you look for the Moon, I will be looking for Her too. When you see Her, you will know that we will always be together.”

My sweet baby girl smiled, I snuggled her one last time before handing her over to her loving daddy. My oldest daughter threw me a hand kiss and swirled away into her new future.

I watched them as they drove off. I don’t remember how long they were gone before I could breathe again. Then, I looked up at the Moon, and I could feel Her cool white light on my wet cheeks. That moment, it was me who needed to remember Her presence most."


This is my contribution to the May Magick project, hosted by Alauna Whelan, published May 29th 2018, titled 'The Moon'. It was written straight from my heart and a true story.

The Moon Cycle - Lunar Phases 101

The Moon Cycle - Lunar Phases 101

Cyclical living can help you live your life more balanced. How can living according to the Moon cycle help you to create abundance, joy, health, and success? This article will explain the Moon cycle and Lunar phases to help you make a start with cyclical living.

New Moon in Pisces - March 17th 2018

Spring is imminent. You can feel it, you can smell it in the air. 

I am so ready to say goodbye to the grey skies or winter... longing for spring I turn my face towards each ray of sunlight, trying to catch the warmth and support. I have never needed it more than I do now.

It's like I have been waiting for this moment to start anew. And now, on the verge of spring, just before this New Moon, at the end of Winter, climaxing towards a fresh start, I am overcome with fatigue and grief. It's like my old Self is dying inside me, it's very intense and many old themes are coming up one more time.

The Moon is entering Pisces. On March 17th, 2018, the new Moon cycle will start in this watery sign of the unconscious mind. Pisces brings us vivid dreams, emotional states and connects us to the symbolism and language of the ancient mind. The rational mind can feel threatened by this fluidity, it's not able to explain what is happening and it will try to take control. This fight with your unconscious mind can take a lot of energy, and combined with the low energetic ebb of the New Moon, you can feel very tired and empty. You may also experience detailed, or very strange dreams. Don't be afraid of them, don't try to 'explain' the meaning, just let them wash over you like a wave that sweeps you clean. Let the waters of Pisces take away any old remnants, any broken dysfunctional survival habits of the ego. It is an old ragged coat that doesn't fit you anymore. 

My dreams have been dark and scary over the last week. Last night I watched my father die and a few days back I witnessed a church shooting in my dream while I was trying to save my daughters. Both situations are not very likely to happen, my father is healthy and vital, and in my country, there are gun laws and shootings are extremely rare. But I lived it in my dream so realistically, as if I knew exactly how it was going to happen. I must admit I was keeping an eye on the news that day.

It can be heavy to wake up from those energies, but being aware of my emotions helped me to release their charge quickly. You could use deep breathing to connect with your body to calm it down while connecting with your feelings as well. They are telling you something you might want to hear.

We all have dreams about death sometimes, and it's important to remember that our unconscious mind is speaking in symbols, and not to be taken literally. 

Death indicates transformation. 

And how profound is the transformation from Winter to Spring? As I find myself at the end of a two year long 'Winter' season in my personal life in the form of burnout, there is a lot happening under the surface. My old patterns are challenged every day, as they are already dead, and new habits are surfacing. However, my ego tries to hold on to every thread. This explains the feelings of grief, as the old story is falling away, making way for something new

Old wounds are healing and we will rise.

One of my coaching clients experienced it like she was dying herself, which can be a scary experience! But as I explained to her, only the construct of ego is dying, and she will rise up, out of the ashes, and her Spirit will bloom again, this time showing her her true colors. 

Hold on, let the waves crash down on you. They will take you to the shore where they will place you carefully and lovingly in the bright Sun. (Aries, a fire sign, is up next!).

Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious.
— Prof. Stephen Hawking

As I was writing this Moon Report, the news of Stephen Hawking's passing reached me. Contemplating about transformation and death, I realized that, during his life, he died at least thousand deaths. Every time he lost another function of his body, due to his neurological disease called Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), he had to change and transform, to reinvent himself in order to be able to breathe, speak and share his visionary ideas. 

Although (or perhaps, because?) he slowly became caged within a limited body, his mind was able to expand to an extent that is not comprehensible to many of us. And in doing so, he completely transformed our collective understanding of the Universe. 

The lesson we can learn from Prof. Hawking is, that when we are able to release our old Self, a thousand times over, we can reach for the stars. 

We are truly limitless.

Full Moon in Virgo - March 1st 2018

We're at the end of February now, a month that went by without a Full Moon. In a few days, March will arrive and it starts off with a bang, a Full Moon on March 1st, 2018

I don't know about you but I could really feel the Black Moon (only a New Moon) of February. Especially over the last few days, I experienced a deep dive into my own shadows, questioning everything I had created over the last year. The Solar Eclipse on the 15th of February might have contributed as well. It's like my winter is never coming to an end, and after a personal winter of two years due to burnout, I am really longing for spring.

Needless to say that I very much enjoy the beautiful weather we are having here on my side of the globe, it's crispy cold, sunny and as I write this, I have the Moon in full view from my home office window in the middle of the day! I love to connect with the Moon at night, but seeing Her on a bright sunny day is always extra special.

The Full Moon on March 1st will be in Virgo.

Virgo is the earthy sign of finishing, analyzing, practicality and perfection. We tend to lose ourselves in the details when we pay too little attention to the big picture. If you find yourself in analysis-paralysis, please know that clarity will come from letting go of overthinking. This can be challenging, I know... 

Over the last few days, I came to a grinding halt... Overthinking my purpose and my calling. I have been searching for it for so long and in trying to capture it, I could feel it drifting out of sight even more. 

Like a feather that floats away when it is approached with too much force... 

I decided to let it go, and let the feather float until it lands somewhere. When I can stay connected to my curiosity about its destination, I can stay open to possibilities instead of trying to force everything.

That is what the Full Moon in Virgo is all about. Connecting to our authentic truth and letting go of our beliefs where they don't serve us any longer and keep us stuck. Finding your purpose through practical magic.

During my recovery process from burnout, I definitely gained more clarity on my mission and I shared it in my latest blog post. The details are still in the works, and I will be connecting to the Virgo energy of the coming Full Moon to see what it will bring me in terms of methodology, practical manifestation, and offerings. Thinking about it will not be helpful, it needs to emerge from within. 

If you feel that the Virgo Full Moon has you stuck in your head, the way to rebalance this is to reconnect with her earthy nature. As Virgo is the sign of the Goddess, of Mother Earth, you can find comfort in Her presence. When you feel disconnected from your body and your emotions, use the power of the Goddess to rediscover your feelings and to get out of your head. 

Doing things or creating with your hands can also be of help. This time of year is perfect for spring cleaning activities and Virgo helps you with this in a very practical way. All material things are connected to the Earth element, so your house, car, clothes, kitchen utensils, and money, are a representation of this. Whenever you feel stuck, create flow by cleaning up your drawers, closets and rooms. Pay your bills and end subscriptions you don't use. Make space in your day-to-day environment to make space in your head. 

Connect to nature, take a walk outside, breathe in the fresh air. Open the windows and let it clear out the stale energy and dust. Sweep it all out! You can use sage or palo santo to clean the energy. Burning herbs is a beautiful way of using the Earth and Fire elements to clean and transform the energy around you.

Happy Full Moon in Virgo!

Cyclical living to prevent and recover from burnout

I have been paying attention to the Moon cycle my whole life. When I was a child I often looked up to look for Her, and when I found Her I would marvel at Her brightness and Her shape. Sometimes She was full and round, sometimes barely visible, a small crescent. 

At a young age I learned what the waxing and waning Moon looked like (see RESOURCES for an explanatory e-book). It wasn't until my late twenties that I discovered that the Moon phases had their own energy and purpose. 

The Moon has been a guide for ages. Every year, a Farmer's Almanac is published, which lays out the Moon phases and the best days for planting, sowing, doing labor on the land, harvesting and more. When aligned with the Moon cycle, farmers have bigger crops, better harvests and less waste. People have lived with this wisdom since the birth of agriculture. 

Somewhere along the way we forgot. We run on a treadmill of achieving goals, always pushing, striving and making deadlines. New ideas, growth, and success are valued more than the stillness, where fertilization and incubation happens. This skipping of an important phase in any project, from a start-up business to writing a book to creating a successful product, seems efficient. It saves us time, and we can go on faster to the next thing in life. However, living in overdrive like this, and skipping rest and recovery, has a huge downward risk. At first, we don't notice. Until we collapse.

I had lived my life in this running, linear way for 38 years before I crashed. When I was in dire shape, in the midst of my burnout, I discovered something important. I noticed that my exhaustion was the worst at New Moon (and when I was menstruating). The depletion of cosmic and physical energy took so much that I wasn't able to move or sit up for days. 

Because I was following the Moon already, I found out quickly. I never thought this effect could be so profound, I was aware of the esoteric meaning of the Moon phases but I never really paid attention to the physical effects (or any bodily signal, to be honest). But when I started to connect the Moon energy to my own energy levels, everything clicked.

We are so used to living in 5th gear, never taking a break or allowing our body to rest. But we forget that we are cyclical beings. Especially women, because we have a menstrual cycle on top of it. 

Everything in the Universe consists of spirals, circles, and cycles. Galaxies, the solar system, the planetary movements, the Earth when spinning around its axis and thus creating the seasons, the Moon cycle, but also the cycle of life, growth, death, rebirth. Molecular structures move energy around in a cyclical motion. This is the basis of oxygen-dependent life, it's called the citric acid cycle (and it was a pain in the ass to memorize for my Med School exams, I tell you).

So, when everything is cyclical, why do we think we can just skip a phase? How can we systematically skip Winter? We need rest, recovery, contemplation, allowing new ideas to form, hibernating under the surface in order for the cycle to complete itself and start over again.

We can't skip the Winter, but we do it on a systematic basis. We have labels rest and recovery as 'laziness'. We think contemplation is 'unproductive'.

When we follow these voices, judgments, beliefs, and we continue to skip it, it leads to burnout. Burnout is nothing else than a very long Winter enforced on you by your body. When you are experiencing burnout, start with rest, not a weekend, not a vacation. What you need is real prolonged rest. This can be very scary, just have faith your nature. The cycle will start over again one day.

When you are planning a new adventure, start with rest, contemplation to be more successful. When you just finished a big project in your business or job, celebrate your success, then rest and evaluate. Learn from your experiences, and integrate them. 

Start paying attention to your energy and your cyclical nature today. Awareness prevents problems and it will help you to be more successful, and live a sustainable life. 

If you want to talk with me about this subject to find out what it can mean for you, feel free to book a complimentary discovery call with me.