emotions

Full Moon in Capricorn - 9th July 2017

On Sunday July 9th 2017 the Moon will be opposite the Sun (a.k.a. Full Moon) at 6:08 CEST. I'm going to warn you, this one will be intense....

The astrological sign of this Full Moon is CAPRICORN or the Mountain Goat. Capricorn is all about structure, order, responsibility, perseverance and ambition. Don't say to a Capricorn it can't be done, they will show you. Never think a task is too boring, they will complete it. Nothing can stop a Capricorn from climbing up the mountain, step after step, rock by rock, it gets there.

But let's not forget we are humans. And going to far, for too long, or too high, will cause imbalance and thus we may slip. Like me. I'm a Capricorn Rising (which means that Capricorn was the sign on the horizon at my time of birth) and I am very familiar with the Cappy energy of pushing through and completing seemingly impossible tasks and navigating extremely difficult life situations through discipline and structure. But when losing balance, we slip.... in my case leading to burnout. I wrote a blogpost on how to recognise burnout because it's something that happens to so many of us nowadays and it's my mission to raise awareness.

So, how will the energy play out during the coming Full Moon in Capricorn? Well, the Full Moon is always bringing emotions to the surface and there is a need for expressing and releasing them. And that's not really a thing that Capricorn is at ease with. Capricorn is controlling and repressing emotions because it considers feelings a nuisance, a blocking factor on the road to results, and messing up plans and ambitions. With the Sun in Cancer (related to our inner Mother, need for nurturing care and expressing emotions) opposing the Capricorn Moon this can create great inner conflict and polarity. This Moon is also called Thunder Moon, and that says it all...

Two weeks ago during the New Moon in Cancer we set intentions around the theme of nurturing, compassion and self-care. We are going to need this over the coming days.

It is important to process and release the intense emotions that are coming up during this Full Moon weekend. You might feel blocked, it may help to take some time on your own to meditate and feel.
Due to the controlling mode of Capricorn, and the repression of emotions that comes along with it, be careful when connecting to others. It's not unlikely that repressed emotions and inner conflict will try to find a way out. Protect yourself and the people you love by creating some Sacred Alone time. This enables you to navigate and release your emotions rather than acting out and hurting others. It will also protect you from people who are not honouring your personal boundaries. Remember, you are not alone in this, everyone is probably going through the same thing and polarity is never the answer.

Keep an eye on the well-being of children in your life. They are often an easy projection screen for the adults around them who are going through conflict and focussed on boundary setting. Children should not be the victim of these interpersonal dynamics, they deserve our nurturing, unconditional love and care, always.

Journaling might be a good way to unblock your feelings and to tune in to forgiveness. Some journaling prompts that could be helpful are:

  • Where have I been too hard on myself or others?
  • Where am I over controlling the outcome?
  • Do I feel controlled by others? Where do I need to set boundaries in a loving way?
  • In what areas are rules or ambition blocking connection to others?
  • Where can I be more forgiving towards myself and others?

Try to bring as much balance as possible into your life, in order to prevent a rough nosedive from the cliff. This is especially important in work - career versus home - family related imbalances.

A fish on land

Fish on land do not live a healthy and prosperous life. When out of the water they desperately try to crawl back into the stream. That's their nature, their reflex. A fish's body knows what to do when placed on land, although it has little brain to think about it extensively.

We humans have a problem. It is called 'the mind'. And we tend to overrate it immensely.

Humans consist of multiple energy layers, the physical, emotional, mental and spiritual body. The mental body (mind) is only one of them. We are usually not aware of this, discerning the layers one by one takes time, practice and awareness of the way the layers communicate.

In our hectic, modern, day-to-day lives, we don't have the time to be present and listen to the different layers. We only listen to our mind, our thoughts. Planning and orchestrating our daily activities, monthly plans and year-ahead-project schedules.

Being only one of the layers, the mind is trying to steal the show for the others layers. They don't get enough air time (it's funny that thoughts are associated with the element air...). Moreover, the layers are connected to each other. Our thoughts are connected to our emotions, we feel sad when we think sad thoughts and we think negative when we are feeling down. We decide to skip lunch because of a meeting we have and we completely ignore the signs of our physical layer that it needs to be nourished. The mind constantly tries to control our emotions and our bodies in order to survive and make rational decisions. This ability of the mind gives us tremendous power in structuring our lives and inspired humanity in achieving great technological advances. The downside is that we think our mind is superior. We let the fish think about its strategy to much.

Our mind is not superior to the other energy layers. It's just a tool to manifest direction. Just like the body is flesh and blood but also a tool to manifest hopes and dreams, plans and ideas.

Without our body we would be an idea that never happens. The idea of which we *think* that it originated from our thoughts, that we ourselves came up with it. Knowing that our minds are only a bunch of interconnected neurons, it's hard to understand why we consider those electric signals inside our brains to be our personal, private thoughts.

How does our brain cells know what we want from life? What we are here for? What makes us happy and what lights us up? That's where Spirit or Soul or Higher Self comes in. A force that just knows and is in all of us. The force that makes the fish crawl back to the water. It guides us towards our purpose. It's pure consciousness and we humans are trying to express that consciousness through energy, emotions and thoughts as signals in our brain, turned into matter through our physical body into action or creation.

When we are imbalanced, this conscious manifestation along the lines of purpose becomes impaired. We don't hear, feel, sense our Higher Self anymore. We don't notice the misalignment. We even do things that go against our alignment with our Higher Self, very often, persistently. We stay in situations that we should run away from. We are like a fish that lays still on the shore, thinking and re-thinking it's strategy and the reasons it should stay on the shore although it's dying. It's so easy to understand why we feel stagnation in your lives, why we are running around in circles, living and re-living the same patterns over and over. And why more imbalances and illness arise.

When we are not aligned, we are out of balance. We can be imbalanced in all layers, people like me, intellectually trained and used to analytical thinking, have the tendency to overthink and overuse the mental body. It becomes too important, we are not in touch with our emotions anymore and not aware of our bodies. Others have an overused emotional body. They tend to react emotionally to difficult situations and don't know how to change their lives for the better. This can lead to emotional instability, inability to make decisions or constantly feeling 'too emotional to think'. Overused physical bodies send us signals about constantly having to move, and exercise, and being in the present, being still can cause a person to feel very restless. Another example of an over expression of the bodily layer is the perception of all the bodily signals by the brain as equally important, leading to all kinds of physical complaints like sensory overstimulation, pain, overwhelming bodily sensations. The brain isn't able to filter the signals, because the body had to turn up the volume to max to reach the brain. Sometimes we only see the imbalance appear when one of the layers quits for a while. For example when we have a concussion and our mental function is distorted for a few weeks. Of when we are forced to stop exercising due to an injury of some sort.

In order to fulfill our highest potential, all layers, mind, emotion, body and spirit, must be aligned. You can't make a fish sit on land for a long time. If you do, it dies gasping. Likewise, if we humans don't listen and are refusing to crawl back towards the natural flow, stagnation happens, we falter, things are harder, we gasp for air and sometimes we are so persevering that we even become ill... or worse.

The different layers of our Being have a language of their own. They communicate whether we are the fish in the water, or the fish on land. Misalignment truly is communicated to us. Make sure you listen.

Screaming silence

Many positive things can be found about meditation and its effects, in fact so many that it seems to be the solution to everything. But for me, it wasn’t, not naturally, when I ran into a complete burnout. I wanted to meditate and tried many times but I couldn’t do it when I got stuck and it became an impossible task when I was in the depths of the abyss.
The months prior I felt that something needed to happen and I tried to calm myself with meditation attempts. What I didn’t know was that I was already so stressed out that being still in meditation caused the volcanic pressure to rise and overwhelm me. Yoga and relaxation exercises drove me crazy due to the anxiety and stress that came to the surface, causing the opposite to happen. I found myself in a chaotic mind, my thoughts sounded like 6 symphonic orchestras playing in dissonance, a cacophony of noise. I felt like a total failure ‘who couldn’t even meditate’ and I began to skip my weekly yoga classes to prevent myself from going down the vortex of chaos.

When I had to have emergency surgery, the carefully strutted house of cards came down. My body forced me to a stop and for a few weeks, I was only a shadow of myself.

Now, 3 months later, the physical signs of my completely disrupted stress-system are subsiding, and I was able to pick up simple daily activities. I now meditate daily, to tune into myself, feel my body, experience my emotions. This is of great value because I am able to connect to my feelings and act on them. To set boundaries, or allow things to happen, to rest or do something. So much is happening inside of me at this moment that I can’t even begin to describe it all. After 2,5 year in survival mode, it’s so freeing to be connected to my body, my intuition, my emotions. Some things are a recognition of something I once had and lost, other experiences are new and a beautiful discovery. What opened the door to improvement is meditation.

It is not easy for me to explain how my brain went into overdrive every time I put my body in a resting state. What is do know is that it is really important is to be gentle and soft. The system experience disruption, don’t make it worse by overwhelming yourself with something new or strenuous. When you start yoga or meditation or you come back to these practices after a long time or in a state of confusion or overstimulation, be nice to yourself. Don’t practice for too long, 15-20 minutes at most. When you bring awareness to your body it will begin to tell you what is wrong, sometimes it’s traumatic to feel all those things all of a sudden. Remember to be gentle and loving towards yourself and to ease down your practice. Start with 5 minutes of meditation when 15 is too much. Don’t go to a full yoga class but practice just one or two poses for 10 minutes and go from there.

Meditation, yoga and other spiritual practices are possible and provide healing, although sometimes you have to go through the chaos first.