New Moon in Pisces - March 17th 2018

Spring is imminent. You can feel it, you can smell it in the air. 

I am so ready to say goodbye to the grey skies or winter... longing for spring I turn my face towards each ray of sunlight, trying to catch the warmth and support. I have never needed it more than I do now.

It's like I have been waiting for this moment to start anew. And now, on the verge of spring, just before this New Moon, at the end of Winter, climaxing towards a fresh start, I am overcome with fatigue and grief. It's like my old Self is dying inside me, it's very intense and many old themes are coming up one more time.

The Moon is entering Pisces. On March 17th, 2018, the new Moon cycle will start in this watery sign of the unconscious mind. Pisces brings us vivid dreams, emotional states and connects us to the symbolism and language of the ancient mind. The rational mind can feel threatened by this fluidity, it's not able to explain what is happening and it will try to take control. This fight with your unconscious mind can take a lot of energy, and combined with the low energetic ebb of the New Moon, you can feel very tired and empty. You may also experience detailed, or very strange dreams. Don't be afraid of them, don't try to 'explain' the meaning, just let them wash over you like a wave that sweeps you clean. Let the waters of Pisces take away any old remnants, any broken dysfunctional survival habits of the ego. It is an old ragged coat that doesn't fit you anymore. 

My dreams have been dark and scary over the last week. Last night I watched my father die and a few days back I witnessed a church shooting in my dream while I was trying to save my daughters. Both situations are not very likely to happen, my father is healthy and vital, and in my country, there are gun laws and shootings are extremely rare. But I lived it in my dream so realistically, as if I knew exactly how it was going to happen. I must admit I was keeping an eye on the news that day.

It can be heavy to wake up from those energies, but being aware of my emotions helped me to release their charge quickly. You could use deep breathing to connect with your body to calm it down while connecting with your feelings as well. They are telling you something you might want to hear.

We all have dreams about death sometimes, and it's important to remember that our unconscious mind is speaking in symbols, and not to be taken literally. 

Death indicates transformation. 

And how profound is the transformation from Winter to Spring? As I find myself at the end of a two year long 'Winter' season in my personal life in the form of burnout, there is a lot happening under the surface. My old patterns are challenged every day, as they are already dead, and new habits are surfacing. However, my ego tries to hold on to every thread. This explains the feelings of grief, as the old story is falling away, making way for something new

Old wounds are healing and we will rise.

One of my coaching clients experienced it like she was dying herself, which can be a scary experience! But as I explained to her, only the construct of ego is dying, and she will rise up, out of the ashes, and her Spirit will bloom again, this time showing her her true colors. 

Hold on, let the waves crash down on you. They will take you to the shore where they will place you carefully and lovingly in the bright Sun. (Aries, a fire sign, is up next!).

Look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Try to make sense of what you see, and wonder about what makes the universe exist. Be curious.
— Prof. Stephen Hawking

As I was writing this Moon Report, the news of Stephen Hawking's passing reached me. Contemplating about transformation and death, I realized that, during his life, he died at least thousand deaths. Every time he lost another function of his body, due to his neurological disease called Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), he had to change and transform, to reinvent himself in order to be able to breathe, speak and share his visionary ideas. 

Although (or perhaps, because?) he slowly became caged within a limited body, his mind was able to expand to an extent that is not comprehensible to many of us. And in doing so, he completely transformed our collective understanding of the Universe. 

The lesson we can learn from Prof. Hawking is, that when we are able to release our old Self, a thousand times over, we can reach for the stars. 

We are truly limitless.

Full Moon in Virgo - March 1st 2018

We're at the end of February now, a month that went by without a Full Moon. In a few days, March will arrive and it starts off with a bang, a Full Moon on March 1st, 2018

I don't know about you but I could really feel the Black Moon (only a New Moon) of February. Especially over the last few days, I experienced a deep dive into my own shadows, questioning everything I had created over the last year. The Solar Eclipse on the 15th of February might have contributed as well. It's like my winter is never coming to an end, and after a personal winter of two years due to burnout, I am really longing for spring.

Needless to say that I very much enjoy the beautiful weather we are having here on my side of the globe, it's crispy cold, sunny and as I write this, I have the Moon in full view from my home office window in the middle of the day! I love to connect with the Moon at night, but seeing Her on a bright sunny day is always extra special.

The Full Moon on March 1st will be in Virgo.

Virgo is the earthy sign of finishing, analyzing, practicality and perfection. We tend to lose ourselves in the details when we pay too little attention to the big picture. If you find yourself in analysis-paralysis, please know that clarity will come from letting go of overthinking. This can be challenging, I know... 

Over the last few days, I came to a grinding halt... Overthinking my purpose and my calling. I have been searching for it for so long and in trying to capture it, I could feel it drifting out of sight even more. 

Like a feather that floats away when it is approached with too much force... 

I decided to let it go, and let the feather float until it lands somewhere. When I can stay connected to my curiosity about its destination, I can stay open to possibilities instead of trying to force everything.

That is what the Full Moon in Virgo is all about. Connecting to our authentic truth and letting go of our beliefs where they don't serve us any longer and keep us stuck. Finding your purpose through practical magic.

During my recovery process from burnout, I definitely gained more clarity on my mission and I shared it in my latest blog post. The details are still in the works, and I will be connecting to the Virgo energy of the coming Full Moon to see what it will bring me in terms of methodology, practical manifestation, and offerings. Thinking about it will not be helpful, it needs to emerge from within. 

If you feel that the Virgo Full Moon has you stuck in your head, the way to rebalance this is to reconnect with her earthy nature. As Virgo is the sign of the Goddess, of Mother Earth, you can find comfort in Her presence. When you feel disconnected from your body and your emotions, use the power of the Goddess to rediscover your feelings and to get out of your head. 

Doing things or creating with your hands can also be of help. This time of year is perfect for spring cleaning activities and Virgo helps you with this in a very practical way. All material things are connected to the Earth element, so your house, car, clothes, kitchen utensils, and money, are a representation of this. Whenever you feel stuck, create flow by cleaning up your drawers, closets and rooms. Pay your bills and end subscriptions you don't use. Make space in your day-to-day environment to make space in your head. 

Connect to nature, take a walk outside, breathe in the fresh air. Open the windows and let it clear out the stale energy and dust. Sweep it all out! You can use sage or palo santo to clean the energy. Burning herbs is a beautiful way of using the Earth and Fire elements to clean and transform the energy around you.

Happy Full Moon in Virgo!

Cyclical living to prevent and recover from burnout

I have been paying attention to the Moon cycle my whole life. When I was a child I often looked up to look for Her, and when I found Her I would marvel at Her brightness and Her shape. Sometimes She was full and round, sometimes barely visible, a small crescent. 

At a young age I learned what the waxing and waning Moon looked like (see RESOURCES for an explanatory e-book). It wasn't until my late twenties that I discovered that the Moon phases had their own energy and purpose. 

The Moon has been a guide for ages. Every year, a Farmer's Almanac is published, which lays out the Moon phases and the best days for planting, sowing, doing labor on the land, harvesting and more. When aligned with the Moon cycle, farmers have bigger crops, better harvests and less waste. People have lived with this wisdom since the birth of agriculture. 

Somewhere along the way we forgot. We run on a treadmill of achieving goals, always pushing, striving and making deadlines. New ideas, growth, and success are valued more than the stillness, where fertilization and incubation happens. This skipping of an important phase in any project, from a start-up business to writing a book to creating a successful product, seems efficient. It saves us time, and we can go on faster to the next thing in life. However, living in overdrive like this, and skipping rest and recovery, has a huge downward risk. At first, we don't notice. Until we collapse.

I had lived my life in this running, linear way for 38 years before I crashed. When I was in dire shape, in the midst of my burnout, I discovered something important. I noticed that my exhaustion was the worst at New Moon (and when I was menstruating). The depletion of cosmic and physical energy took so much that I wasn't able to move or sit up for days. 

Because I was following the Moon already, I found out quickly. I never thought this effect could be so profound, I was aware of the esoteric meaning of the Moon phases but I never really paid attention to the physical effects (or any bodily signal, to be honest). But when I started to connect the Moon energy to my own energy levels, everything clicked.

We are so used to living in 5th gear, never taking a break or allowing our body to rest. But we forget that we are cyclical beings. Especially women, because we have a menstrual cycle on top of it. 

Everything in the Universe consists of spirals, circles, and cycles. Galaxies, the solar system, the planetary movements, the Earth when spinning around its axis and thus creating the seasons, the Moon cycle, but also the cycle of life, growth, death, rebirth. Molecular structures move energy around in a cyclical motion. This is the basis of oxygen-dependent life, it's called the citric acid cycle (and it was a pain in the ass to memorize for my Med School exams, I tell you).

So, when everything is cyclical, why do we think we can just skip a phase? How can we systematically skip Winter? We need rest, recovery, contemplation, allowing new ideas to form, hibernating under the surface in order for the cycle to complete itself and start over again.

We can't skip the Winter, but we do it on a systematic basis. We have labels rest and recovery as 'laziness'. We think contemplation is 'unproductive'.

When we follow these voices, judgments, beliefs, and we continue to skip it, it leads to burnout. Burnout is nothing else than a very long Winter enforced on you by your body. When you are experiencing burnout, start with rest, not a weekend, not a vacation. What you need is real prolonged rest. This can be very scary, just have faith your nature. The cycle will start over again one day.

When you are planning a new adventure, start with rest, contemplation to be more successful. When you just finished a big project in your business or job, celebrate your success, then rest and evaluate. Learn from your experiences, and integrate them. 

Start paying attention to your energy and your cyclical nature today. Awareness prevents problems and it will help you to be more successful, and live a sustainable life. 

If you want to talk with me about this subject to find out what it can mean for you, feel free to book a complimentary discovery call with me. 

New Moon in Aquarius - 15th February 2018

Did you notice that February has no Full Moon this year? Due to the double Full Moons (a.k.a. Blue Moons) in January and March, February is left without any... When a month goes by without a Full Moon, the New Moon is called Black Moon. 

This might sound dark and gloomy but it isn't! It's creating opportunities for powerful new beginnings instead.

This month, the Black Moon will fall on February 15th, 10:05 pm CEST, and it will coincide with a partial Solar Eclipse, which is, astronomically, nothing more than a New Moon with the Moon aligned partly in front of the Sun. 

Energy-wise, it intensifies the dark aspect of the New Moon and it marks the start of two new cycles at the same time: the Moon cycle for the following 4 weeks, and the Eclipse cycle for the coming 6 months. 

This New Moon is taking place in Aquarius, an air sign (not a water sign as the name suggests). Aquarius is about thinking energy, communication, new ideas, and technology. Aquarius also is the odd one out, the dreamer, the visionary. When the Moon is in this sign, our emotions and inner worlds are closely connected to the Aquarian themes. 

Due to the air energy (mind), we may feel disconnected to our own inner emotional worlds. This can translate as feeling detached, flat, unaffected, unmotivated and without passion even. 

You can use this detachment to your benefit when you have experienced difficulties with letting go of certain things. Feeling detached will help you to see where you are holding on to the things that aren't serving you anymore and to shift into a new way of being. 

You will be able to truly reinvent yourself with the help of Aquarius!

However, when detachment happens in relationships, it can be difficult to stay connected to the other person. It's more difficult to understand each other when we are less able to connect to someone else's feelings. This may cause conflict, but when we are aware of it, we can choose differently. Putting away your phone and other distracting screens can help tremendously with keeping in touch with your partner, children or other family members. Create space for conscious connection and schedule some time to talk about themes and ideas that are important to you. Communicate in an open and truthful way. Although the connection might be on an intellectual level only, this is perfectly fine. Perhaps this is the way to create interesting new plans and launch projects together! Socializing with larger groups is also a great way of feeling connected. 

Aquarius is the sign of revolutionary ideas and progression. Be prepared for a flash of lightning, an 'AHA'-moment, or an epiphany. This could be the sign you have been waiting for, the message that never seemed to arrive. Journal about your ideas, because there are some gems of insight coming your way, some of them might be pivotal in making changes to your life. The theme here will most likely be around how you can serve the collective as an individual. 

You may want to keep your discoveries to yourself for a bit, to avoid judgment and criticism from people about your 'strange' or 'odd' ideas. It takes a few more days to shift the energy away from Aquarius into Pisces, helping others to relate more to your dreams and visions.

Find your tribe of like-minded people or create your own. It's easy to feel isolated and alone in this world, with its never-ending turmoil and relentless conflict. But there are many people who are just like you, and they are showing up with many now. Be open, and you will find them. 

My initiation and rediscovery of Feminine Wisdom

The first time I read about Feminine Wisdom was well over a decade ago. At the time I just transferred from a clinical resident job to a research position in psychiatry. It was a very hierarchic and linear environment, which I didn't notice because I was so used to it. My background - my parents were elementary school teachers - had been infused with linearity. Work hard, study, achieve goals and you will gradually grow and climb the social ladder. 

Anyway, there I was, 26 years old, a young doctor, trying to do the best I could for my patients. What I didn't notice was that I totally forgot to care for myself. I was dedicated and meticulous, and I would never fail anyone, although sometimes, I was exhausted. That's why I got a research job, to take a break from the never-ending responsibility and pressure, the night shifts and the ongoing administrative burden of the hospital. 

A few months in, I was invited to go on an educational retreat program in epidemiology with my research mentor. She was a very ambitious woman and I looked up to her, although I could also feel her pain because she missed out on motherhood because of her demanding job. She always seemed to hide behind a mask of performing and being 'equal' to her male colleagues.

I traveled abroad for the program where we stayed for a week to dive into the subject of clinical research and study design with a promising group of researchers. I had some spare time in a railway station where I had to wait to change trains. I came across a bookshop. I wasn't really looking for something to read because I figured that it would be a busy week anyway. But there she was. This small book with a black cover and small calligraphed letters in burgundy... Although the cover could be easily overlooked, this book seemed to call me. I couldn't see anything else and I was so drawn to it that I bought it without reading the back cover.

This book, 'Book of Shadows' by Phyllis Currott, took me on a journey that forever changed my life. This autobiography described the discovery and initiation into the Divine Feminine of the author, an NYC lawyer, her initial hesitation and skepticism, and the wisdom and connections she found through ritual and women's circles. 

For me, it uncovered a world that I didn't know existed. With every word I read, I felt like I was coming home to myself. I was completely captivated by it and I used every break during the week-long program that I was attending, to go to my hotel room and read. 

I remember feeling torn between this totally new magical world of the Divine Feminine and the masculinity of the statistical theories and assignments I had to go over. 

I have felt torn between those energies many times after that, but I never had the courage to dive right into what felt more aligned, so I tried to mix some of the practices I learned from the book into my busy life. I read many more books on this subject; women's circles, the elements, energy, rituals, mystical practices, meditation, esoterics, the Moon and the cosmos, herbalism and so on. I performed small rituals in my bedroom, I drew oracle cards to gain more insight, I watched the Moon and recorded my own cycle for years. I began to feel that attuning to the Cycles was nurturing me. But I also felt that every piece of wisdom I gathered created a bigger schism in my Soul. 

Over the next 10 years, life happened. I changed careers trying to find a solution away from the overachieving, overpressuring world of hospitals and research. I became a mother and my time and energy were flowing towards my children and my job solely. I went through a divorce and became a single mom. There was no time to follow my own cycle, the Moon or the seasons. Life was overwhelming and everything I had worked so hard for, came crashing down on me. 

I was so exhausted, navigating burnout and depletion that I decided to quit my job as an MD, not knowing what would be next. One night, when I couldn't sleep, I scanned my books to see what I medical books I could let go of. Suddenly my eyes came across the 'Book of Shadows' again.

It was like a flash lightning struck me. I immediately realized that life would continue to happen to me in this devastating way if I didn't embrace the Divine Feminine. The only thing that I felt certain about on that night, was the presence of the Moon, the Sun, the Universe. I knew that They were my medicine. And indeed, over time, I healed by following the Moon, and my own Moon cycle. I started to connect with nature again, walking outside, feeling the breeze, touching the trees and the leaves, digging into the garden, smelling the flowers, looking at the sunset and listening to the birds. My Soul was so tired of living in a linear, masculine way. She yearned to be balanced with the Sacred Feminine energy of receiving, nurturing, loving, connecting to my body and the body of Earth.

Finally, I began to heal. 

Today, I am so acutely aware of the importance of our natural Cycles and how we can learn about ourselves through these cyclical motions. Our lives are seasonal, women cycle with the Moon, all hormonal processes in our bodies are flowing in a circular way. Like ebb and flow, rising, expanding, falling and diminishing. From Dark to Light to Dark. Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter. Death and Rebirth.

We go through an array of cycles in so many ways. Personally, collectively, on a small level and on a cosmic scale. 

My mission now is to make people aware of these cycles, of the importance of cyclical living in order for them to feel supported and connected to Nature and to their own nature.